In the world of Magic: the Gathering, there are creatures of all shapes and sizes. Some are small and weak, while others are large and powerful. Today, we’re going to take a look at some of the biggest and baddest creatures in the history of the game.
Some of these creatures are so busted they can practically solo an opponent if left unanswered. Looking for some creature inspiration for your next deck? Be sure to check out this list.
1. B. F. M. (Big Furry Monster)
One of the more well-known cards from an un-set, B. F. M. is actually so big that it spreads itself across two separate cards. A 99/99 that wears krakens and dreadnoughts for earrings might seem terrifyingly large, and its ‘triple menace’ evasion ability is certainly rare.
The card was originally printed in Unglued, Magic’s first silver bordered set, meaning that it’s not tournament legal and only exists for comic purposes. The only time you’ll see this guy pop up is in an anything-goes kitchen table game or a commander game where hopefully the player has got everyone’s blessing to use a silver bordered card first.
If so, beware Fling.
2. Questing Beast
This one’s nickname is ‘The Paragraph’ for a reason; whenever you read it you learn something new about what it does. Vigilance, deathtouch, and haste is already generous enough for a 4/4 that costs 4 mana but the other abilities really push this beast over the edge:
- It can’t be blocked by creatures for power 2 or less. Ok sure, that’s fine.
- Combat damage that would be dealt by creatures you control can’t be prevented. Well, that’s pretty niche but nice in Commander games where people loop Spore Frogs and run Glacial Chasm. Seems out of place on a standard set card though.
- Whenever Questing Beast deals combat damage to an opponent, it deals that much damage to target planeswalker that player controls. Wow, pretty niche again but still useful in many formats.
Got all that? Good, because if you play pioneer, explorer or historic then you’re bound to encounter this guy lunging at your planeswalkers at some point. Despite Questing Beast’s seemingly arbitrary shopping list of abilities, he’s still a major threat when left unchecked.
3. Arcbound Ravager
Ravager’s heyday of terrorizing standard are long gone but he still sees action in modern with Hardened Scales. A 2 mana 1/1, Ravager is hardly intimidating to the uninitiated but when left to its own devices on a board full of artifacts, this thing can be a real pain to deal with.
If you try to Fatal Push it, the opponent will simply sacrifice a bunch of artifacts to it in response, add a load of counters, and then sacrifice itself to place the counters on an Inkmoth Nexus and one shot you next turn. It gets big very fast and is extremely slippery to deal with. Its worst enemy is Pithing Needle.
4. Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer
He’s small but if left unchecked, Ragavan will run away with the game on his own. Every time a blow from him connects with an opponent’s face he generates a treasure token and steals the top card from their library. Ignore him at your peril or you’ll be fighting your own cards paid for with free mana.
5. Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite
If you need a reminder that white creatures aren’t just knights and angels, and can be monstrous, abstract humanoids then look no further than Elesh Norn. She’s got spiky fingers, a human mouth but some unnerving headgear going on, not to mention all that suspicious red stuff.
6. Agent of Treachery
Agent of Treachery flips in and he steals stuff just like a ninja (despite being a rogue). There’s not much more salt-inducing in Magic than having your cards stolen, and this dude’s enter the battlefield trigger is highly abusable in decks that run flicker effects like Ephemerate or Brago.
If you can infinitely flicker him then you can steal every permanent on the table. His second ability is nice too.
7. Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger
The Eldrazi are probably the scariest race in Magic history, and picking one for this list was no easy task. In the end I went with this iteration of Ulamog rather than the Infinite Gyre, mostly for the art and his abilities. This towering humanoid of sinew and muscle is unnerving to behold, with his multiple limbs and tentacles ominously outstretched in all directions.
His cast trigger is a big middle finger to counterspells (Tron players, rise up), his indestructability is nice, but the cherry on the cake is his attack trigger that exiles the top 20 cards from the opponent’s library. This last ability is often a silver bullet in some scenarios where your opponent has too much life, too many chump blockers, or some Solitary Confinement effect.
8. Uro, Titan of Nature’s Wrath
Banned in modern, historic, explorer, and pioneer, and previously banned in Standard, Uro was problematic in nearly all formats at the time. The problem with him is he’s almost never a bad card in most situations; he gains life, ramps and draws all in the same trigger. He also forces opponents to sideboad in graveyard hate just to ensure you don’t escape him.
9. Siege Rhino
Slaps horn, this badboy can fit so much life drain in it.
At the time of its printing, Siege Rhino was an absolute unit of a card in standard. There’s nothing elegant or complex about it; it’s just an undercosted chunky creature with a 6-point life swing ability. But that was more than enough for this card to warp the entire Khans of Tarkit standard metagame at the time. Plus he has his own subreddit.
1. Phyrexian Obliterator
The first thing I noticed about Phyrexian Obliterator was the cost; it was love at first sight. I have a soft spot for mono black decks and I knew I had to take this badboy out for a spin. BBBB is exceptionally difficult to cast outside of mono black, but four mana for a 5/5 with trample is a heck of a deal alone.
Its second ability is niche, especially in a meta of Solitudes and Fatal Pushes, but if the opponent has no damageless removal then this thing becomes extremely problematic, even if they have blockers.
Obliterator isn’t the best card on this list, nor is it even viable in most formats, yet it still deserves a place on this list due to its unique allure and flavor.